Merits of being so very white.
1. Show up well in any lighting conditions.
2. Technicians need not make major adjustments for skin tone.
3. As a chorus member in Sweeney Todd, need not use any white foundation before adding bruises under eyes. *Plus for germophobes!
4. Easy to find in a crowd.
5. Can play Tic-Tac-Toe without a pen or pencil. *This is called graphodermasomethingorother!
6. Able to be ninja even in the daylight. (You know you were wondering how I did it.)
7. Will never be eaten by a fox if stuck in the Arctic.
8. Will never be eaten by a penguin if stuck in the Antarctic.
9. Can pretend to be Danish. Because Danes are super happy. *Super plus for blondes, who have more fun anyway!
10. Able to blend in with Asians.
And finally, in this age of the Twilight craze,
11. Due to the Twilight craze, if we apply the method of syllogism,
Vampires = sexy
Vampires = super pale people
Super pale people = sexy
As if I needed the craze.
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